We, human beings are not cold, frozen, and unfeeling like icebergs but like icebergs, we have a part above the waterline and a part below. The part that we are conscious of is like the tip of the iceberg, the ten percent above the waterline. The subconscious part of us is like the far bigger part that lies below.
These two parts have different communication system rules. The one we are most conscious of and familiar with uses verbal and nonverbal communication — words, body language, gesture, and tone of voice. It involves information that is noticed through our five senses and is used by the conscious part of us.
There is also another way we communicate, one that we all experience but are not conscious of in the same way. Think about when you are in the presence of someone you feel naturally at ease with.
You might not able to explain why you feel good, you just know you do feel comfortable or safe. Some people radiate gentleness and peace, others hostility or fear. What we experience here is a “vibe” or a “gut knowing.” We know something, but we don’t necessarily know how we know. This below-the-waterline communication system operates more like radio antennas, apparently picking up information from the world around us. Some people are more tuned into it than others, but we have all felt it at some point.
We may think that the conscious communication is the vast and most important part of the conversations we are having, but that’s just because we are generally unaware of the huge amount of information our subconscious is processing outside of our conscious awareness. Our antennas are constantly picking up and broadcasting information, only a fraction of which ever makes it above the waterline to our conscious awareness.
And what are we sending out? In large part we are broadcasting what is stored in subconscious memory, our unconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world. And this unconscious communication is actually a far bigger voice in the conversations we are having.
And no matter what unconscious beliefs we have- I’m not good enough, people always take advantage of me, I’ll never have a healthy relationship – they are getting broadcast loud and clear and other people are unconsciously responding to them. Until we learn how to recognize and change the “energetic conversations” we are engaging in, the reality we experience will remain largely the same.
One way to begin to recognize your unconscious beliefs are simply to notice when you find yourself thinking ” He/she always treats me as if _____” and fill in the blank. “He always treats me as if what I say has no value” or “she always treats me as if I’m not important.” When you find yourself thinking that, ask yourself (and honestly listen for the answer!) what part of you feels as if what you have to say has no value, or what part of you feels as if you are not important. Thus go ahead to face your soul.
This doesn’t mean that you should give the green signal to someone else’s bad behavior. It is intended to help you determine whether there is a belief that you are unconsciously broadcasting that someone else is picking up and responding to. Once a belief becomes visible it loses some of its power. If you continue to notice the underlying belief, over time you may find the situation happening less and less often, or you might find yourself responding in a less emotional way. Either way, your life becomes easier and less stressful…which is always a good thing.